i can’t take this ive gained 2kg’s in such a short period of time! i hate how i gain weight faster then i lose it, mental breakdown right her, yup so f****ing over this!

really struggling right now! everything is just far to overwhelming, i’m trying to figure out what i want to do next year and seeing my options because i have no idea and mum keeps telling me i wont cope at University. so obviously she’s telling me i’m dumb !! i feel so worthless at the moment, im already SO uncomfortable in my body and to add to that i’m dumb! argh so many temptations right now! i just want to run away from this world. it’s funny because everyone thinks i’m doing really well atm and everyone thinks im really happy and bubbly all the time, little do they know im falling, im struggling and im hiding my emotions! 

omg the tears just keep rolling down my cheeks. PLEASE STOP i have to go out in 15 minutes. i can’t do it

I’m so empty, toheavy almost ready to break and i cant wait much longer i need more then just an angel and i cant act much stronger i need more then just an angel, i keep my head up looking for a sign something to tell me that ill be fine, why do i have to do this on my own i am surrounded but i feel so alone

feeling stuck, feeling trapped, feeling lost i’m out of words. my mind is like a battlefield, a war between my myself and my mind. losing strength. Losing hope.I’m falling but i’m begging for someone to catch me. I don’t want to fall i’m being pushed, pushed by this evil manipulating demon inside of me. i don’t want to sink i want to swim but to swim i need help i need security, guidance some one to lead me the way, the way to this world of happiness and freedom. 

just deleted my facebook.. lets see how long this lasts haha, it was far too triggering ! need a breather

I just want my brain to focus, i need to get all my assignments done, WHY CAN I NOT FOCUS! >:(

ahhhh i need a release ! something i dont know what to do , i seriously feel like od , self harming, purging, i dont know what to do anymore, this feeling inside is taking over

holey mother i have gained weight like crazy, feeling a little bit like a balloon here ;(

so im having a really bad body image day and im home alone tonight… thats means dinner is all in my hands, im kind of scared either way im gonna be upset.. if i have dinner, the voices will scream and if i dont ill be upset in myself for failing at recovery. decisions :/